Arsenal Dominates Predictions, United's Lone Voice Amid Chaos

The new season has not even kicked a ball and already the predictions are flying, wild and unapologetic. Titles handed out, managers sacked, clubs relegated, legacies written. It will all look ridiculous by November, of course. That’s half the fun.

What follows is a snapshot of pre-season optimism, fatalism and outright mischief from our panel. Clip, save, and return in May.

Title race: Arsenal the overwhelming pick, one lonely voice for United

Ask a roomful of writers who wins the league and you usually get a spread. Not this time.

Arsenal are the near-unanimous choice. Sarah Winterburn nails the mood: only “the unhinged” would back anyone else after a summer of stability and the addition of Bruno Guimaraes. She has them winning it at a canter, no team within 10 points.

Matt Stead simply declares: “Phase five is upon us.” Dave Tickner is louder and prouder than last summer, convinced this is the moment Arsenal cash in on being the only truly settled giant while rivals wrestle with year-one rebuilds. Ian Watson points to “too much uncertainty around everyone else.” Jason Soutar shelves his nagging Chelsea hunch after last season’s misfire and joins the Arsenal bandwagon. So do Lewis Oldham and Michael Lee, the latter admitting he spent the summer trying to talk himself out of Arsenal before the Community Shield “humbled” him.

Nestor Watach sees echoes of the early Pep Guardiola years at Manchester City: everyone else in flux, one side ready to take advantage. Samuel Bannister leans the same way, likening Arsenal’s title defence to PSG finally cracking the Champions League and then backing it up, with Guimaraes the sort of signing that keeps a champion on top.

And yet, in the middle of this red-and-white chorus, one dissenting voice.

John Nicholson goes for Manchester United. Not as a hot take, he insists, but because “they were the best team in the league under Carrick. Them’s the facts.” United, in his eyes, are coming.

Top four: Chelsea everywhere, City drifting into supporting roles

If the title pick is straightforward, the rest of the top four is chaos.

Winterburn keeps it traditional: Chelsea a “long way behind” Arsenal, then Liverpool and Manchester City, with Manchester United tossed in as a fifth-place bonus. Stead has Chelsea’s “Cobham Current Gen” in second, ahead of City and Liverpool.

Nicholson goes Chelsea, City, Aston Villa. Tickner throws his hands up, calling this year’s top-four question “infamously impossible” and plumps, almost apologetically, for Chelsea, Liverpool, City.

Watson admits he hasn’t “a clue” and still forces himself into a call: City, Chelsea, Tottenham. Soutar mirrors that, with Chelsea and City followed by Spurs.

Oldham thinks City will again fall just short in the title race and land second, Chelsea will pull a Manchester United-style bounce without European football, and Liverpool will just edge United for fourth. Michael Lee also sees Chelsea, City, Liverpool behind Arsenal, while keeping one eye on Spurs as a possible gatecrasher.

Watach has City, Liverpool, United, and Chelsea in fifth, banking on a “boring” reset where the wage bill and the table realign. Bannister goes Liverpool, City, Chelsea, backing Isak under Iraola and Wirtz to sharpen Liverpool, while a Europe-free Chelsea exploit the clear calendar.

No consensus. Just Chelsea everywhere and City suddenly looking like a supporting act more often than the headliner.

Relegation scrap: promoted trio in the firing line, Ipswich and Hull in trouble

At the bottom, the knives are out early.

Ipswich, Coventry and Hull are Winterburn’s picks to go. Tickner goes blunt: “The promoted teams.” No romance, no fairytale, just a grim return to the old norm. Watach agrees: Coventry, Ipswich and especially Hull are tipped to follow the well-trodden path straight back down, with no Leeds- or Sunderland-style resistance this time. Bannister echoes that trio, expecting Coventry to give the best account of themselves but still fall short.

Watson also says Ipswich, Hull, Coventry. So does Ian Watson, so does Jason Soutar, though Soutar adds some colour: Fulham “you have to fear for them,” Ipswich “rubbish,” Hull “proper rubbish.”

Matt Stead is slightly kinder. Hull are “gone”, Coventry fight but still drop, while Ipswich survive by going full “Leeds Protocol” and signing a team of six-footers. He sees Sunderland falling foul of the numbers and getting “xG’d.”

Michael Lee breaks from the promoted-doomed script: Sunderland, Coventry and Hull are his three, with Ipswich saved by “tidy signings” and Sunderland distracted by Europe after last season’s overachievement. Oldham is certain Hull and Ipswich go, but backs Coventry to ride Frank Lampard’s momentum and tips Fulham for 18th.

Newcastle and Crystal Palace hover on the edge of several lists. Nicholson has Palace going down alongside Hull and Newcastle after “new manager collapses.” Tickner and Watach both file Newcastle and Palace under “you fear for them” without quite pushing them through the trapdoor.

Pleasant surprises: Leeds hype, Newcastle revival, and a mid-table Coventry story

In a league where schadenfreude is often the only acceptable joy, the idea of a “pleasant surprise” feels quaint. Tickner even calls it “a relic of a bygone age,” arguing the only true pleasant surprises now are when Spurs or Manchester United are “alarmingly and hilariously sh*te.”

Still, the panel plays along.

Leeds United are the fashionable pick. Winterburn sees them buying well and climbing into the top eight. Nicholson has them finishing sixth on the back of upgrades in goal, defence, midfield and attack. Oldham thinks they’ll “sneak into the top ten.” Michael Lee, wary of Leeds’ history of thriving under low expectations, still tips them to do something notable. Watach is bullish: Leeds were excellent in the second half of last season and, with Daniel Farke’s squad strengthened, a push for the Conference League “isn’t unthinkable.”

Watson says Leeds will be “surprising if not pleasant.” That feels about right.

Elsewhere, Bournemouth and Crystal Palace both in the top half is Stead’s shout. Tickner, staying on the Palace train, suggests they might pull a Brentford and be “Absolutely Fine” when many expect the opposite, especially with what he believes is a better manager than rivals in similar trouble.

Soutar nominates Coventry and a 15th-place finish as the true “pleasant” story, even while backing Chelsea for a top-two shock that doesn’t quite fit the warm-and-fuzzy brief. Oldham also sees Coventry surviving, even if they don’t scale Sunderland’s heights from last season.

Michael Lee eyes Forest sneaking back into Europe. Bannister goes for Newcastle, arguing they can’t be as flat as last season and that their young, lesser-known signings might drag them back into the top half.

Golden Boot: Haaland and then daylight

This section could have been written in five seconds.

Erling Haaland is the pick. Again and again and again.

Winterburn, Stead, Nicholson, Watson, Soutar, Oldham, Lee, Watach, Bannister – all of them go for the Norwegian. Some barely bother to dress it up. “Daft question,” says Winterburn. “Erling Haaland will win it.” “Erling Haaland will, silly,” adds Stead. “Who else?” asks Soutar. “Has it felt this obvious ever before?” wonders Watach.

The debate, such as it is, lives in the runners-up. Winterburn and Oldham both think Alexander Isak will push Haaland closest. Nicholson has Benjamin Sesko as a strong second.

Tickner leans into the betting angle. He dubs Haaland the “Goalbot 3000,” expects the usual 12 goals in nine games to start and a total nudging 30, but looks for each-way value elsewhere. He notes it took only 16 goals to place last season and throws out Matheus Cunha and Cody Gakpo as long-shot options, the latter contingent on a move to Spurs and then not “making a b*llocks” of it.

But the award, barring injury or footballing earthquake, belongs to Haaland. Again.

Best new signing: Leeds’ Trafford love-in, Guimaraes at Arsenal, and a few wild cards

Ask who will have the biggest positive impact and you learn where the hype truly lies.

Leeds again hog the spotlight. James Trafford, their new goalkeeper, is the consensus game-changer. Stead calls him the answer “by definition.” Watson says he should make a “huge difference” simply by not being “dicey as f***.” Soutar names Trafford, Harry Wilson and Tarik Muharemovic as a collective force. Oldham goes further, calling Trafford a “colossal upgrade” and a potential future England No.1. Bannister admits Leeds may have overpaid but still thinks Trafford gives them the security they’ve craved.

Watach is smitten with Muharemovic, who has “looked extraordinarily good” in pre-season and, in his view, could take Leeds “to another level” after replacing Pascal Struijk.

At the top end, Bruno Guimaraes to Arsenal looms large. Winterburn tips him as a key reason nobody gets close to the champions. Watson also expects him to be “great” for Arsenal, the kind of signing that shifts a title race.

There are other candidates. Matt Stead highlights James Trafford and Jeremy Jacquet as upgrades in key areas. Nicholson thinks Morgan Rogers is exactly the player Chelsea need right now. Tickner, fresh from the Community Shield, is smitten with Christos Tzolis. Michael Lee, peering slightly further out, thinks Manchester United will regret not paying up for Mateus Fernandes.

Biggest flop: Anderson under the microscope, Spurs’ Tonali risk, and big fees under fire

To flop, you need hype and a hefty fee. Plenty qualify.

Elliot Anderson at Manchester City takes the brunt. Winterburn questions whether his running and work-rate justify “that frankly ridiculous money” at City’s level. Tickner, again reacting to the Community Shield, calls him the worst of several “eye-watering overspends” in midfield. Michael Lee brands £116m “extortionate” and fears he has joined City at the wrong time. Bannister doubts he’ll ever look convincing enough to justify the price.

Nicholson and Michael Lee both circle Morgan Rogers at Chelsea, the latter reminding everyone he is the second-most expensive signing in Premier League history. Watach is similarly sceptical: that kind of fee invites brutal judgment.

Sandro Tonali at Tottenham fits Nicholson’s long-standing tradition: Spurs sign an expensive player who has been good elsewhere and it all goes wrong. Jason Soutar goes harder on Ronald Araujo – “bobbins, proper bobbins” – and throws Victor Munoz into the same basket.

Oldham suspects Andrey Santos at £50m will age badly. Ian Watson worries about Alejandro Garnacho and, again, Rogers.

Matt Stead picks Gonzalo Garcia, warning that Fulham rarely fare well when they spend more than £20m on a player.

Best bargain: Tielemans, Wilson, Hackney and the art of beating the market

In a summer where prices have gone berserk, finding value feels like a dying art.

Youri Tielemans at £35m is Winterburn’s idea of a “steal.” Bannister agrees, calling it “shrewd” business even if Manchester United may not see much resale value.

Leeds, once more, dominate the bargain chat. Harry Wilson on a free is described as “great business” and a “perfect fit” by Nicholson, with Tickner calling it a free-transfer “cheat code” that still counts because Leeds had tried to buy him for a fee last year. Stead expects Wilson to keep up Leeds’ tradition of free transfers hitting double figures in goals and even imagines Sean Steur setting up a future nine-figure sale to fund “Newcastle 3.0.” Watson also points to Wilson and Xaver Schlager as smart freebies. Soutar again highlights Wilson, while Michael Lee flips it and argues that Trafford, despite being Leeds’ record signing, will save them so many points he effectively becomes a bargain.

Lewis Oldham singles out Christian Norgaard as a superb pick-up for Everton after his standout season at Brentford. Watach points to Hayden Hackney’s initial £16m fee as “crazily low” in this market, with lesser players moving for double.

Bannister can’t quite decide where “bargain” starts in this inflated climate, but he comes back to Tzolis at Arsenal: £34m for a winger of his quality looks smart when worse players are going for more.

PFA Player of the Year: Rice, Guimaraes, Haaland… and a couple of keepers

Predicting Player of the Year is a mug’s game. Bruno Fernandes’ win last season proved that. Still, the panel dives in.

Winterburn goes for Guimaraes, believing he can unlock yet more creativity in the champions’ midfield. Oldham agrees, leaning on the logic that the award usually goes to a player from the title winners and that Guimaraes, fresh from a good World Cup, will dovetail perfectly with Declan Rice.

Rice himself is a popular shout. Tickner argues that fewer games and a deeper Arsenal midfield will actually increase his impact after he finished the World Cup looking like “football’s weariest human.” Watson also picks Rice, on the condition he’s actually had a holiday. Watach thinks Arsenal might again spread the plaudits around, but Rice has the tools to be the headline act.

Goalkeepers get rare love. Soutar and Michael Lee both go for David Raya.

Nicholson, always up for a curveball, tips Elliot Anderson to peak at City, with Brian Madjo as Young Player of the Year. Bannister keeps it simple: if Haaland wins the Golden Boot with another avalanche of goals, he takes the PFA award too.

First manager out: Arbeloa on the edge, Jakirovic in danger, Glasner in the Marinakis zone

The sack race is as unpredictable as ever, but some names crop up again and again.

Alvaro Arbeloa at Fulham looks vulnerable. Winterburn says the appointment “just doesn’t feel quite right.” Watson “worries” about Fulham and nominates Arbeloa, joking that when the Spaniard eventually gets a statue he can thank him. Oldham also has him gone “after a poor couple of months.”

Hull’s Sergej Jakirovic feels like a man walking into a storm. Nicholson picks him. Michael Lee does too, predicting Hull’s owner will become a “Main Character” and even stir up Greece-Turkey tensions with Evangelos Marinakis. Watach likens Jakirovic to a “bit-part character you instantly forget in the first 10 minutes of a horror film,” and doubts Hull’s owner has the patience to ride out a bad start.

Tickner plays the percentages with Oliver Glasner at Nottingham Forest, purely because of Marinakis’ ruthless track record. “No further explanation is required,” he says. Forest change managers more than anyone; that’s enough.

Matt Stead throws David Moyes into the mix. Watson sees Matthias Jaissle at Newcastle as protected by low expectations but thinks “Diet Pep” at City could be under early pressure. Soutar simply declares “the bloke from Hull” as doomed. Bannister, looking north, fears Regis Le Bris at Sunderland could be a victim of his own success and a harsh bout of second-season syndrome.

Champions League: Barcelona, PSG, Arsenal… and the science of progression

On the continent, the panel splits into three main camps.

Barcelona, turbocharged by the signing of Rodri, are Winterburn’s pick. Michael Lee also has Barça, on the condition they bring in a proper centre-back partner for Pau Cubarsi; otherwise, he swings back to PSG. Watach is firmly in the Catalan camp, calling Rodri the missing piece for the kind of total control that powered Spain at the World Cup.

PSG, Champions League nearly-men no more, retain plenty of backing. Nicholson says they will be “hard to beat again.” Lewis Oldham thinks they’re “too good” and tips them to retain the trophy. Bannister is even stronger, predicting a three-peat and insisting something has finally “clicked” for them in Europe.

Then there is Arsenal. Tickner leans all the way in: quarter-final, semi-final, runners-up in the last three seasons means there is only one way this year can go. He tips them for the Premier League–Champions League double and declares anything less “gigantic Fraud McBottlejobs.” Soutar buys into the same “science”: QF in 2024, SF in 2025, final defeat in 2026, so winners in 2027.

Ian Watson, typically, goes for Real Madrid. Some habits never die.

And what are we all actually excited about?

Strip away the tactics and transfer fees and it comes down to this: what gets people genuinely buzzing?

Winterburn: “So very many new managers.” Stead: “An offside penis; not Richarlison.” Nicholson: “Montrose In Scottish League One.” Tickner: “Neverending moral panic about corners.” Watson: “Tottenham Hotspur making Tickers smile.” Soutar: “Keys and Gray’s podcast returning.” Oldham: “Rotherham United maybe winning more.” Michael Lee: “No VAR in the Championship.” Watach: “New managers; uncertainty, unpredictability, chaos.”

Predictions made. Lines drawn. Reputations on the line.

Now the season just has to live up to the madness that’s already been promised.